It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's rum buckets o'clock
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
