we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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