sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
