u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
