Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
