What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
