Who wears a wallet chain?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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