Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
