Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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