Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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