please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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