Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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