She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
