I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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