So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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