I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
