so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
