I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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