Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
