I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
