I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
