I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
