I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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