People in love make me want to vomit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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