he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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