you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
