Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
