We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
His nipple licking is glorious
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