C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize