I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
