Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
