I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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