i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize