dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
