Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
