...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize