my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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