If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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