dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize