I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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