Are we in a gay sports bar?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
