was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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