she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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