You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
