if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
