Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
