Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
