And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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