I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
