I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
