I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
