You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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