HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
