Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no, he came in my armpit
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
