whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I can text with my tongue
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
