i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
