I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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