we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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